The flashbacks don't stop
it's like that feeling when you're about to puke
I can even still feel the air shift
walking through the hospital doors
that stench that surrounded the locked in air
the sea of faces
not knowing anyone's level of despair
all of those hours sitting with you
doing unthinkables
with plenty of laughing for fuel
just so we both wouldn't feel uncomfortable
you didn't show fear
you had to be scared
hiding from me the end being near
that part hurts me to the very core, to think if I should have asked you more
that day when you coded and my hope was just gone
but the fight still in me
remembering the last wor
You don't have the nerve
to that might I add
courage, to you is just another word
see right through the cellophane wrap
reach to that gutter
from whence you came
sleepy stories, tired little lies
it's just a matter of time
threw yourself in too
think it can erase
my essence is worse than any ghost in your face
keep going that way
soon you'll tire of it all
guess who won't be standing there
waiting
for the return crawl
the most shallow of existence
for such a vast mind
give up the realest part
stimulation
for a few pieces of pussy riptides
I'll never understand it
but learn to accept
'you jump, I jump'
what a fool to ev
The beginning of an end. by CausticLipstick, literature
Literature
The beginning of an end.
To really experience the loss and pain
to feel my insides aching
touch it
it's excruitiating
don't stay too long, pull back your hand
if this is what it truly feels like
what it actually is
then I don't want to play again
I keep thinking I'm back, I'm whole
returned to 'me'
in control
let go of the sins
the regrets and foul words
the wetness sliding down my face
when that barrier unfolds
even right now they fight to come out
push them back
this is not what I'm about
why be so strong when inside I'm weak
destroyed by this
so afraid to let anyone see
at first I went on to spin and spiral
it did it's job
for a little while
Been watching people lately
extra close to see the ways they interact
I don't want the typical
running out of things to say
waking up to an already pretty bad movie
groundhog's day
I also am realizing
that I must give to receive
but how can I help it if my walls are not paper thin
they are real, reinforced and they actually exist
they won't just come down with some lines or a kiss
I watch them
some are 'happy', some are truly in love
but so many are the things mentioned above
I compare you, 'us', a little
which is helping on it's own
now the next level
time to face and own
I told you that you would end up alone
you most li
Lots of thinking, talking myself down
we already fell while I was beginning the next
climb...
time to stop right where I'm at
sorting through so many words
began to take a horrendous toll
one that sticks is you said I could have been
that life would have been the picture that you warped me in
I remember saying that it wasn't so
you again, think you're the one in control
it was me trying to say it would have never worked
you're too much trouble, too much like a girl
I don't want to spend the rest of my life solving issue after issue
it's cleansing really to let go of some hate
to realize it all was just a mistake
a beautiful on
testicular homicide
drive by spurting
worth it
possibly
fills that momentary need
shrivels up
as fast as it comes
mind numbing
tingling
so many sensations
the end
revolving door
new pussy in the store
maxed out
feel the sweat
breaking through
can't help but look
touch and feel
each one new
generally the same
your tags out bitch
i forgot your name
doesn't matter
it should
but it won't
adjusting
ramming, thrusting
tasting flesh
number 7 inspected this
in inches
flinching, gripping
vulgar spewing
faster and harder
lose meaning
don't feel anything
skin on skin
just fuck like you mean it
rape those eyes
leave
someday it will stop. by CausticLipstick, literature
Literature
someday it will stop.
twisted, kick it
who is the victim
now you got your bad habit
punch that ticket
he's part of the club now, doorman let him in
skip to the front of the line
just so everyone knows you were accepted in
you messed up now
itch that scratch just to feel it
burning, turning
your heart is yearning
fuck that shit
g.o.n.e f.o.r.e.v.e.r
you'll never return here
fuck me once
drunken stupor
fuck me twice
barely impressive
take my heart
misuse, abuse, back away from it
now ya did it
such a man, nah let's be real here
the only raw deal is what you see in the mirror
you had it all now you screwed up
if there's ever a day when your ba
The flashbacks don't stop
it's like that feeling when you're about to puke
I can even still feel the air shift
walking through the hospital doors
that stench that surrounded the locked in air
the sea of faces
not knowing anyone's level of despair
all of those hours sitting with you
doing unthinkables
with plenty of laughing for fuel
just so we both wouldn't feel uncomfortable
you didn't show fear
you had to be scared
hiding from me the end being near
that part hurts me to the very core, to think if I should have asked you more
that day when you coded and my hope was just gone
but the fight still in me
remembering the last wor
You don't have the nerve
to that might I add
courage, to you is just another word
see right through the cellophane wrap
reach to that gutter
from whence you came
sleepy stories, tired little lies
it's just a matter of time
threw yourself in too
think it can erase
my essence is worse than any ghost in your face
keep going that way
soon you'll tire of it all
guess who won't be standing there
waiting
for the return crawl
the most shallow of existence
for such a vast mind
give up the realest part
stimulation
for a few pieces of pussy riptides
I'll never understand it
but learn to accept
'you jump, I jump'
what a fool to ev
The beginning of an end. by CausticLipstick, literature
Literature
The beginning of an end.
To really experience the loss and pain
to feel my insides aching
touch it
it's excruitiating
don't stay too long, pull back your hand
if this is what it truly feels like
what it actually is
then I don't want to play again
I keep thinking I'm back, I'm whole
returned to 'me'
in control
let go of the sins
the regrets and foul words
the wetness sliding down my face
when that barrier unfolds
even right now they fight to come out
push them back
this is not what I'm about
why be so strong when inside I'm weak
destroyed by this
so afraid to let anyone see
at first I went on to spin and spiral
it did it's job
for a little while
Been watching people lately
extra close to see the ways they interact
I don't want the typical
running out of things to say
waking up to an already pretty bad movie
groundhog's day
I also am realizing
that I must give to receive
but how can I help it if my walls are not paper thin
they are real, reinforced and they actually exist
they won't just come down with some lines or a kiss
I watch them
some are 'happy', some are truly in love
but so many are the things mentioned above
I compare you, 'us', a little
which is helping on it's own
now the next level
time to face and own
I told you that you would end up alone
you most li
Lots of thinking, talking myself down
we already fell while I was beginning the next
climb...
time to stop right where I'm at
sorting through so many words
began to take a horrendous toll
one that sticks is you said I could have been
that life would have been the picture that you warped me in
I remember saying that it wasn't so
you again, think you're the one in control
it was me trying to say it would have never worked
you're too much trouble, too much like a girl
I don't want to spend the rest of my life solving issue after issue
it's cleansing really to let go of some hate
to realize it all was just a mistake
a beautiful on
testicular homicide
drive by spurting
worth it
possibly
fills that momentary need
shrivels up
as fast as it comes
mind numbing
tingling
so many sensations
the end
revolving door
new pussy in the store
maxed out
feel the sweat
breaking through
can't help but look
touch and feel
each one new
generally the same
your tags out bitch
i forgot your name
doesn't matter
it should
but it won't
adjusting
ramming, thrusting
tasting flesh
number 7 inspected this
in inches
flinching, gripping
vulgar spewing
faster and harder
lose meaning
don't feel anything
skin on skin
just fuck like you mean it
rape those eyes
leave
someday it will stop. by CausticLipstick, literature
Literature
someday it will stop.
twisted, kick it
who is the victim
now you got your bad habit
punch that ticket
he's part of the club now, doorman let him in
skip to the front of the line
just so everyone knows you were accepted in
you messed up now
itch that scratch just to feel it
burning, turning
your heart is yearning
fuck that shit
g.o.n.e f.o.r.e.v.e.r
you'll never return here
fuck me once
drunken stupor
fuck me twice
barely impressive
take my heart
misuse, abuse, back away from it
now ya did it
such a man, nah let's be real here
the only raw deal is what you see in the mirror
you had it all now you screwed up
if there's ever a day when your ba
I'll never commune these words to you,
the words that fill my heart;
You'll never know the depth I feel,
this need I won't impart.
We both know you would not try to resist,
you'd gladly accept my charms;
But I'll never call your name or draw you in,
just to see you slip through my arms.
For as the flower's fate is set when plucked,
so would you be with me.
You would wither as the flower soon,
for you are meant to live free.
So I'll never hold you close to me,
never live this dream;
You'll never see behind these eyes,
nor understand their gleam.
You'll only go on your own way,
and on occasion wonder,
About the one you never k
Current Residence: WestCoastOfFlorida Favourite genre of music: Mainly old school hip hop.. some emo for my more suicidal nites.. Operating System: Long as it works.. i dk and dont care Shell of choice: Pretty shiny ones Favourite cartoon character: The Snorks